='s not so =

So when you go into a relationship and are prepared to share your heart and emotions with someone else, you expect things to be equal, do you not? I know that's what I expect to happen.

Before our time, like in the younger years of our grandparents or even their parents, females were not considered equals. They were meant to stay at home, have babies, cook, clean, not have their own thoughts, and sex their man when he wanted it. Which then in turn made more babies for them to cook, clean, and take care of. The men were the primary breadwinners, which I guess gave them the upper hand.  Or whatever.

So some years go by, and women start getting jobs, and taking on more of the money responsibility themselves. But at the same time a lot of them still have to to do the at home thing, and take care and raise kids. Which is another full time job in itself...hence why I'm waiting a while before I have kids, but anyway...women have more say in the relationship business. They have more independence and a stronger voice to be heard. Women fight for Equal Rights and become more dominant. And a lot of women start to say screw the 'family scene.'

BUT for those women who don't say screw it to the family scene and are in a relationship, a reoccurring pattern has appeared.

It seems like a lot of people that I know, or people that I see in the media, are not equal as a couple. There is always a dominant breadwinner or 'ruler' of that specific relationship. I just wonder if it's possible to be equal as a couple?

A few years ago, I had a tendency to date dudes who were less of an equal than myself. They couldn't hold a job and never had any real ambition in their lives. Why did I date such douche bags? Well Im pretty sure it was because I liked the thought of being better than that person. Which I realize now is totally absurd, but then I didn't. I guess, because I had a job and real goals in life, that made me better.
You should WANT to date someone who has goals in their life and real ambition. That's just a given. I don't think you should ever have to change your standards or stoop down to meet someone else's level.

No. You both should be on equal levels, standards, ,expectations, or whatevers.

Here's what I think. I think people get lazy. In many ways actually, but from a relationship point of view with an emphasis as equals:
*we date someone who is less of an equal as ourselves because we like to feel superior. It makes us feel good about ourselves.
*if we don't have money/goals/etc., we date someone who does so we can continue on with our lives being the lazy asshole we are.

So instead of being patient, making a few mistakes, and taking a few risks...we settle. Find someone who isn't on our level and just take what we can get. We either give up part of ourself or take a part of someone else.

Ugh, but at the same time I don't want it to seem like you should think you're better than someone else. But let's be real...because that's how it should be...if you're a 20+ yr old with no goals, no job, and no intention of getting one, then I guess I would consider someone with a job and goals more of an individual than the jobless person.

The choice is up to you. Be equals. Or not.


xoxox,

L

a little venting about how i don't ever understand boys

so, i was seeing a guy for a bit. and then just one day he stopped talking to me. but i was just like, ok. and i went on with my life. well, he just so happens to work with my best friend. and one night, he was talking to her about stuff, and she said she's surprised he cry. and then I had the genius idea to drunk text him. I don't think it was that smart when you get the "who is this and stop texting me" text. So, don't worry. Point taken. But, it still leads me to wonder WTF MATE! Don't go saying one thing to one person, then be a complete fucking asshole. Sure, it wasn't the best idea to drunk text him, Or let jessika call him and tell him that he should put his penis in my mouth. But, you don't have to be a fucking asshole about it. OR! Better yet, Just tell me what I did to make you hate me. xo- k

Jealousy

What is jealousy? This is probably one of the easiest words to define and associate with in your life, because everyone feels it at some point. If someone ever tells you that they dont get jealous and whatnot, well then they're a liar and need to be slapped.

No one has it that good. Okay?

I thought it would be interesting to define Jealousy in the eyes of the dictionary. The first definition is from the actual dictionary and the last two are from urbandictionary.com....which is probably a more acurate way to define things nowadays.

>Mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

>Jealousy doesnt mean that you dont trust someone. its just means that you care a lot. it means you're scared to lose someone or you feel like attention has been drawn away from you.

>The feeling people get when they cant be like you! They wish they had your looks, talent and material possessions but they don't.. so they badmouth you instead to level the playing field. When they do this they usually don't tell the truth about anything either.

I find the last definition to be quite amusing. I guess that tends to be true most of the time though.

I am probably one of the most jealous people you will come across. This is one of my major flaws, but it's not something that I can easily change. It's really not something that anyone can easily change, but rather something you need to learn to deal with. I suppose the best way to talk about jealousy is to give an example of it.

Let's say that you're dating a guy, and you find out that he's been talking to girls...texting, calling, hanging out with, whatever...and he's been 'hiding' it from you. Hiding it from you meaning; whenever you confront him about it he denies it, changes the subject, or does anything he can do to not directly discuss it. And who knows, him talking to other girls could really mean nothing at all, and you're probably just being paranoid. I guess being jealous and being paranoid, kind of go hand in hand. Wow, realization for myself. Anyway...

This scenario has happened to me numerous times. Sometimes the talking and hanging out means nothing at all, but other times it has meant something...and a week later I end up being single because this douche bag decides that this other girl was better than myself. Whatever. Whether it meant something or not, I was jealous. Jealous that I wasn't getting all the attention from my boyfriend. Jealous that I knew some other girl was good enough to catch his attention and take the light away from me. Jealous that I wasn't the only girl he was thinking of..even if it was only a friend kind of thing.

I think we tend to over analyze things when it comes to being jealous over something. Half of the time, nothing is going to happen from your boyfriend talking to another girl. He's with you, right? You're the one who gets to kiss him, hug him, hold him, and whatever him. Not these other chicks. (unless he ends up leaving you for one these other girls, and if that's the case then it wasn't meant to be in the first place) Most of the time you have absolutely nothing to worry about. There are times when you should start to question things though. Let's say you find out that your boyfriend has been talking to his ex lately. Which is okay, a little weird, but sometimes they're still friends and it's okay. But when he starts hiding it, and starts to get defensive when you bring her up, then it's time to get a little jealous/paranoid. Not only that, but then it's time to set some rules and start questioning other things.

With jealousy, comes a lack of trust. In turn, I think that lack of trust causes paranoia. You NEED trust in order to make a relationship work. It's an absolute must, and without trust in your relationship, it will never work. Guaranteed.

Now if you start getting jealous about every little thing that goes on with your dude, like some other girl posting harmless stuff on his Facebook wall, then it's time for a reality check.

Are you really supposed to be with this person if you're going to get jealous over the itty bitty little things? Where's the trust in that? There is NO trust in that. That's when you need to take a step back and deal with things on your own and stop being so freaking paranoid.

Jealousy can mean that you care a lot for someone, yes. But it can also mean that you're literally crazy. Which kind of jealousy are you going to pick?

xoxoxx,

L

Valentine's Day

Today is a day we know as Valentine's Day, V-Day, or if you're single..the worst day ever. I have been single PLENTY of times on Valentine's Day. Or I've just been dating a douche, which is pretty much the same thing when you think about it. I've had my fair share of bad ones and I guess a decent amount of good ones too. So with this holiday, I thought I would write about love. And not love in a broad and unspecific term. But when love is love. When you know it's true and when it's the right time to express to someone else, that you're feeling it. Now I've thought long and hard about this. Because I have been one to overthink when the proper time to say I love you, is. It's such a hard and long debate. But I guess when it boils down to it, you'll just know when it's the right time. I think that love can be a one sided thing for sure. But in order for it to be something real, both parties should have pretty much mutual feelings. I mean how fun is it to love someone when they dont feel the same. Been there, done that. Not cool. So when is a proper time? Well that really all depends. You can make it extra romantic and go on a nice date to say those 3 lovely words. Or you can just blurt them out at random. Whatever works for you. But you better make sure you mean them..because once they're out, they're out. And once the other person assumes you LOVE them, then that's a pretty serious step. Trust me, when you love love love someone, you'll know it. It's going to be apparent. Love is one of those, can't eat can't sleep can't breathe butterflies when you see them kind of feelings. It's when you wake up next to them during the night and just smile, because you know that they're yours and you're theirs. It's the little joys you get from the slightest touches..holding hands and kisses on the cheeks. It's the way your heart longs for them when they're not there. It's this wonderful and fabulous kind of feeling that everyone should experience in life at least once, if not more. And yes it is possible to experience love more than once, with different people. So I guess, back to my point with the whole right timing kind of thing. You'll know when it's the right time. You'll just feel it in your heart. Just go with those feelings you have in your heart and don't second guess yourself. ...and Happy V-Day.

xo,

L

Overrated much?

This holiday season you may see all of your friends and their perfect lives with their perfect lovey dovey boyfriends. And you may feel a little jealous and envious, wishing you could have this kind of life. Hell I know that I get a little jealous of them. I think about 85% of my friends are married, engaged, seeing someone, living with someone, having a baby, buying a house, or this or that. While I'm living with myself in a studio apartment. I don't even have a cat to cuddle with. BUT. As much as I can be jealous, I'm not. Because I have my independence and freedom. I can do whatever the hell I want to, whenever the hell I want. I don't have to answer to anyone or ask their opinion. I don't have to tell them what I'm doing and where I'm going. And I don't have to worry that this person may be cheating on me or this or that. Which happens in almost every relationship nowadays. Cheating is as common as cotton panties.

Reality.

So, as you're sitting home alone this holiday season, bumming. Remember things could be a lot worse. You could be blind. You could have a fake leg. You could have herpes. You could have a boyfriend. You could be illiterate. You could a lot of other things. But don't be lonely.

Get a cat if you really get that lonely. Or call up a friend with benefits. But do not play the pity party card. It's not worth it, and you're much too cool for that. xox, L

Being 'You'

Have you ever felt like you don't fit in? Like everyone else around you just doesn't accept you? Or that you stand out like a sore thumb?

Well I don't really see what's so wrong about that. I think that nowadays it's becoming harder and harder to be your own person, to be an actual

'individual'

Everyone is conforming and losing sight of who they truly are. (If you're not one of those everyone-kind-of-people, I give you kudos) And it's sad and pathetic. I mean I can sort of understnd why people conform to fit someone else's standards...maybe you're scared, maybe you're trying to fit in with some 'cool' clique at school, maybe you don't know who you really are as a person, you don't want to be judged, you're trying to win the heart of 'that boy', you're finding yourself, blah blah, etc etc.

At the same time, I think it's a load of bullshit.

But we see it happen every day. Girls lose sight of what's truly important in life and forget who they are. They change their beliefs, they ditch friends, ditch this and ditch that, become a bitch, become anaorexic, and don't give themselves enough credit, blah blah, whatever it may be.

I get it. Life is hard. But it's not like it gets any easier, and who are you really helping, by not being yourself?

I get shit all the time for my platinum blonde hair, septum piercing, recycling symbol tattoo, or whatever it may be. You have to learn to not let it bother you. Tell them to fuck off. I could really care less what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm happy with myself, then that's all that matters =]

You only live once and you might as well live it up while you can. Do you honestly want to live under someone else's shadow and always second guess yourself? Be unhappy?

Ah, no.

BUT. No matter how much I preach to you and tell you that it's okay to be yourself, it's a lesson you have to learn on your own. And most people won't listen to such advice. But I'm going to keep telling you that it's A-okay gurrrrlllfriend. And if you lose 'friends' by being yourself, then they're not really your friends in the first place...not the kind that you want in your life anyway. Trust me.

Oh, and let me remind you that, there is life after high school/college. And it's called the REAL WORLD. It's hard, but I promise you'll get through it. You have to be a strong individual. You have to be the amazing person you truly are and do what makes you happy. Because it's your life, and you are an amazing individual. Trust me.

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.

Xoxxxo,

L

Things Boys Should Know

• Girls don't care about your past relations. If we did, we would ask about them. So don't compare us to your other hook-ups and whatnots.
• Don't lie to us. We're better at it than you are, in most cases. So we'll eventually catch you in some kind of lie that's probably going to make you look like an ass. And neither of us want that, right?
• Eventhough you may think you're being nice by feeding me full of bullshit and telling me what you think I want to hear, don't. I would rather you tell me that you want nothing to do with me, then make up lame excuses why we can't hang out. Ever.
• Grow balls. Hypothetically.
• Girls like to be in charge every once in a while. Don't let it hurt your ego. We don't think any less of you as a man if we make a few major decisions here and there.
• We like sex, and foreplay even more so. Our boobs aren't just to look at. They like to be touched too.
• Don't devour my face when you try to kiss me. You're trying too hard. I promise I won't judge you if you're not spitting all over my face. Honestly.
• Do compliment me and tell me you think I'm beautiful every once in a while.
• Do tell me I'm being a bitch. IF I really am.
• Don't tell me I'm a bitch if I'm not.
• Contrary to popular belief, I cannot read your mind. OH, how I wish I could sometimes. But I can't, keep this in mind.
• If you like me, and we have a good time together, chances are..I like you too. Let's do something about this. Let's not act like we're in 5th grade and we have cooties. K?
• Don't tell me you think other girls are hot. I guarantee that I will stop finding you hot.
• Kiss me. A lot. Please.
• Do send me cute texts whenever you're bored. And let me know that you miss me, if you truly and honestly do.
• Love me for me, and accept the fact that I'm not perfect.

xoxoxo,

L

Maybe.

Is it so wrong to dig more than one guy at the same time? I mean it's not like I am fucking them. I feel bad only because the edgy one, told me that not only did I make him believe that he was my favorite boy, but my only. ok, so wtf. I must be a good actress then. and now I feel like I am leading the comfortable one on. so I told the comfortable one that I can't do it anymore. he had me up on this stool and made me seem like the most amazing girl on the planet. I'm not. I feel like with the comfortable one, things would get too...comfortable. With the edgy one, i think it would change a lot. I think the comfortable one would want to do the normal get married thing. And I want to get married but not for a long time. I want it with someone that will keep me on my toes. But since I fucked it up, I guess that's not going to happen. But the edgy one has a zillion myspace girlfriends who tell him how much the love him. Ya know what he told me? that those are groupies. wtf. he has groupies. but how I am supposed to know he doesn't say...I wrote a poem about you, to them too? I don't know. He goes on dates all the time. whats up with that. The edgy one also wouldn't call me, he said he was shy on the phone. But he didn't have a problem sending me a picture of his penis... I can't wait to go to bed an cry a little. becuase I seem to have just lost the best thing that would never happen to me. ugh. xO K

You Say It Best....

I think most girls have a problem with what boys tell them. And it's not like they are telling you that you have a gross body and you make them want to throw up. It's the good stuff. It's the stuff that's like... I can't wait to wake up in the morning to see you. You are so beautiful. You are the complete compliment to me. I bet you look good, but then again you always do. I want to kiss you and hold you tight. You're amazing inspiration. You're gorgeous. You're my soulmate. Making you smile, means the world to me. From a young age, girls are brought up to beleive that when boys say things like this, it's just to get into our pants. But what if they really mean it? What if they don't? I mean, the nicest compliments I get are from my friends. Why is it so hard to imagine that someone would say this to a girl and mean it? Probably because things like this only happen in chick flicks. Not to normal girls like me. I can hope all I want, but when it's really happening, it doesn't seem real. xo K

The other girl

What do you do when you find yourself in the predicament of being the 'other girl' The 'other girl' meaning that the dude you're hooking up with has a gf, and you're the one on the side. Well if you know that you're the other girl from the get-go, then that's a different story. I was the other girl once, and it made me feel like shit. I mean I know that the guy must not have really liked his current girl if he was willing to cheat on her with me...but still. I felt like poop. I absolutely hate cheaters, and by being the other girl, I was aiding to the cheating. Pretty much making me a cheater too. Not cool ladies. Not cool. You might say to yourself "Well that's his problem not mine." And you are soooo right. It is his problem, but at the same time, you are sooo wrong. I'm just going to be honest with you ladies... This guy has no intention of ever dating you! What he's doing is wrong. He has the best of both worlds...has a girl who likes him in a commitment and a girl on the side who he has no attachments to. Oh, and I doubt that you're the only 'other girl' at the moment. Put yourself in his girlfriends shoes...how would you feel if you were in her situation? Exactly. You need to get yourself out of that situation ASAP, and run far away from this player douche bag. Ugh. Guys feel some sort of need to get as many girls as possible. I have yet to find out why. But I'm pretty sure they like to feel good about themselves and whatnot...and half the time are compensating for something they don't have or something they're not getting somewhere else. So how do you get out of this situation? Simple. Stop talking to him, OR tell him "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU DOUCHE!" See. Simple. And if you feel like getting even (which I would) I would tell his current girlfriend EVERYTHING. Let's see how much more ass he'll be getting after that. huh. Poor guy. yours always, L

chances

Why is it that when boys are given a chance with a girl they tend to screw it up?

Let me explain:

This has happened to me quite a few times.

I'm seeing this guy. I like him. He shows interest in me. It doesn't work out for some reason, or he just stops talking to me, and stops showing signs of interest. Okay. I get over it...eventually. Mend my heart, once again. Move on with my somewhat cool life. A few months go by. Dude texts/calls me. Says he screwed up, and he still likes me, or what I really love is when they say they never stopped liking me. Expects things to go back to how they were. As if nothing happened. Expects me to drop everything I have going on in my life to be with him.

Ugh. You're stupid...so here's the stitch.

Two years ago, maybe a little less longer than that..I work with this guy, for all intensive purposes, we'll call him Stan. Stan and I start seeing eachother. Kind of a fling, kind of not. I totally had the hots for Stan, he was really laid back and chill. But we didn't really tell too many people of what we had going on. No biggie. So me being the emotional sap that I am, tell Stan that I think we should be more than waffle making buddies. He bails.

A few months go by, and we start hooking up again. Then he gets a girl.

I see him at work. He texts me, basically saying he wanted to get with me again. Goes on bitching about his bitch. Whatever. At that moment in my life, I wasn't seeing anyone, but wasn't too interested in listening to his sap story either. But I flirtexted back anyway. And then Stan started saying that his bitch never listened to him, and he needed someone to talk to. I listened.

Next day, Stan says his girl found our texts and he couldn't talk to me anymore. That I was to delete his number, and he was going to delete mine. I said how awesome it was that he was letting some chick run his life. Have fun with that. Okay. So I would still see Stan at work. Awkward. Oh btw, I didn't delete his number. I don't let people run my life. I run it.

So today I get a random text: Hey stranger, what's up? -Stan.

I reply: Whoa why are you texting me? I never thought I would hear from you again.

From there he goes on confessing his undying love to me. Blah blah. How I was all he could think of while he was with this chick, and it whatever whatever insert crap here.

Um. Okay. What do you want me to do. Insert you back into my somewhat cool life now? Um. You're cute Stan. But you played me like a fiddle once. And ripped my heart out and put it in a blender. Once is probably enough. Why didn't you dump her a year ago for me then Stan. Huh? If I was all you could think of, wouldn't that have been a good time? Cause it was fun, right? Playing house and living the american dream that society makes up for us. No thanks.

Moral: IF YOU GIVE A DUDE A CHANCE, AND HE MESSES IT UP ROYALLY, DO NOT GIVE HIM ANOTHER. UNLESS YOU ENJOY HAVING UR HEART PUT IN THE BLENDER. If you keep giving him chances, he's just going to keep taking and taking, until you have nothing left that he can take. There are so many other dudes in the world. And just cause one shows you some slight interest does NOT mean you need to take him up on his offer.

For all those Stans in the world, get a fucking life, or ruin someone else's, and stay out of mine. K thanks.

xoxo, L

boys=happines?

Someone told me this once.."you're one of those girls that needs a boy at all times to be happy." Is it a boy that makes us happy or the idea of a boy? Well. I would like to think it's a little of both, but it's hard to say. At times, I like having a boyfriend, but maybe i'm more happy that I can actually say I have one. Maybe I dont really care to have this so called boyfriend. Maybe that's why relationships tend to fail, and move along too quickly. You just get so wrapped up in the idea of the relationship instead of the things itself. I don't think i am a girl who needs to have a boy in her life to make her happy. I mean boys have made me happy before, sure. I can honestly say that. But I don't need to continuously have to remain happy. I just like to continuously have one. =] These are known facts: *you can't cuddle with yourself. *you can't make waffles with yourself..sure, sure..you can DIY, but not the same. *you can't kiss yourself. *you can't hold your own hand without looking like a weirdo. *you can't dirty text yourself. *you can't stare into your own eyes and get lost. *you can't give yourself butterflies. *you....well you get the point. While all these things may make you feel happy, there are alternatives. So am i going to go clinically depressed and psycho if i do not have a boy? pshhh no! and no girl should base her sole existence on someone of the opposite sex. that's just an absurd and ridiculous idea. be a strong, independent woman, and if some dude happens to come along...well so be it. but don't seek happiness through a penis. Make yourself happy. and worry about the rest later. Oh, and someone once said that I didn't have much of a personality either. HA. look how wrong he was on that. xxox, L

the BEST ever magazine

When the new month rolls around, We can be seen at the Wal-Mart checkout loaded up with this months magazines. Cosmopolotian, a must it's known as the woman's bible. Glamour, to me is just as good as Cosmo, but it never ever has the same things in it. People-it's the one tabloid that you can believe. The Alternative Press-Lacey loves it. But this is the one that is so awesome, that YOU MUST READ IT. It can't be found on just anyold newstand, I found it at Bookworld one hot summer day, and have been forever changed. It's called Missbehave. you can find it online at www.missbehavemag.com It's amazing. It's perfect. It's written bye girls that I would actully want to party with. xo k

Doing it Yourself

Doing it Yourself

*This may get a little racy or inappropriate for some...just to foreworn. But could be quite interesting at the same time. Not too many girls are brave enough to write about this kind of stuff...so here it goes...

Let me start off by defining what Doing it Yourself means, as some people may be a little confused.

• Well in general terms it means masturbating I suppose. That's the simplest explanation.

Whether you use objects such as vibrators, pocket rockets, dildos, or yourself. Your own hand. There are many ways to Doing it Yourself. And all can be very enjoyable.

I am a firm believer that every girl should Do it Themselves from time to time. Now I'm not saying you have to Do it everyday, twice a day, or three times a week. But I do believe that on a regular basis is a good choice.

You should know what feels good, and how to achieve that by Doing it Yourself, in order for you to show someone else what feels good to you.

It's just common sense. Because if you don't know, how are you supposed to show someone else. And believe me....most of the time you have to show guys what feels good to you. Otherwise they don't know. And a lot of guys(not all) don't really wanna take the time to find out what feels good for you during foreplay. So...

You HAVE to show them.

Which is perfectly fine. But why should guys be the only ones to get off? It's pretty easy for most of them. Repetative motion is good enough to send their heads spinning. And from my experience, most guys aren't too picky how 'it' goes down. As long as it does. Girls usually take a little longer to get off. We're just a lot trickier than guys. For the most part at least. Unless ur some gifted hooker who can get off in 30 seconds by the slightest stimulation. Kudos to you, I guess.

But back to Doing it Yourself.

How often?

Whenever you feel like it. Don't feel guilty because you think you may be Doing it too often. Hell, there are no set rules somewhere that you're not aware of. Whenever you feel like Doing it, Do it. For real. I mean within reason....not at the kitchen table during Thanksgiving dinner. That's a little inappropriate. Ha. At least excuse yourself to the restroom.

I have found that the more often I Do it myself, the more relaxed, happier, and care free I tend to be. Now I'm not a 100% certain that this is true, but I'm 89% certain that it is. Or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse to Do it myself. Whatever. =]

Different Ways

There are many many different tools that can be used to Do it Yourself nowadays. When I say many, I mean millions. The best place to get some of these certain tools would be at your local porn shop. And if you don't have a local one, any one will do. I would not reccomend gettting a vibrator or dildo that is 3ft long though. Porn shops have some crazy things, and this should not be one of the things that you are purchasing. Unless you're crazy, then by all means. Go for it you weirdo. The best kind of vibrator I would reccommend purchasing is roughly around 50-60 dollars, and believe me, it's worth it. It comes with something called a clitoris stimulator(which is really what you're going for) that is kind of mounted on top of the vibrator. Wow. Amazing.

Or you can just buy your standard pocket rocket, which works for some girls too. I am not one of them. But I have heard that it works for some. Pocket rockets tend to run a little cheaper than your average vibrator and may be better for beginners.

Or if you don't feel like purchasing any tools to Do it Yourself. Yourself is just fine too. Get to know your body, and don't be ashamed. A bolt of lighting will not come down and smite you or whatever. I promise.

And I promise that no matter how many girls say that they don't Do it Themselves, they actually do. They're just to scared or whatever to be open and honest about their body. That's their issue, and doesn't have to be one for you. The only way to find out what you like, is to find out yourself. You'll truly be able to enjoy any sexual experience better. I promise.

xoxo L

Dating vs 'Dating'

Is there a difference?

Only a HUGE one!

Too often people are confused or have mixed signals between dating and 'dating.'

Dating is: When you are causally seeing someone. Maybe on a regular basis, maybe not. Nothing is set in stone, but there is a little connection between the two of you. You could be dating this one specific person, while dating another one. You might make out here or there and make waffles on ocassion. It's nothing too serious. But something to be taken into consideration at the same time. A very confusing sort of thing. Most definitely.

'Dating' is: When you are offically with this specific person. There is no other one that you would want to be with at this very specific moment. You are boyfriend and girlfriend. A couple. YOU make out and make waffles with this person only. Well in an ideal world, that's how it would be. Whatever, all that jazz.

Too many people get the two of them mixed up and muddled together.

Love is such an odd thing.

But yet it happens.

So is there a way to tell the difference between the two, so you're not giving this guy your heart when all he wants to do is casually date? Well duh of course there is!

Signs he wants to date:

• you hang out at his house more than publically. Like his house all the time.
• He doesn't introduce you to his close friends. Random strangers doesn't count as friends.
• He seldom looks into your eyes. Like a close connection.
• He rushes you out of his house the 'morning after'
• There is a lot of awkward silence, and you're not sure what to talk about most of the time.
• He makes plans at the last minute. He doesn't want to commit to anything too serious with you.
• He calls you dude.
• You could go days without hearing from him.

Signs he wants to 'date':

• He calls you. You don't always have to be the one to call him.
• He listens to what you have to say.
• He likes being seen in public with you.
• He asks you to hang out.
• He holds your hand where other people can see.
• He looks in your eyes.
• He sends cutesy texts that make you smile.
• He shares his feelings with you.

These are just a few examples. I mean every guy is different in their own way. But I believe these are some good guidlines to go by. And if he can't make up his mind whether or not he wants to date or 'date' then you should ditch him. Cause you are way too cool to deal with some lame ass punk bitch. =]

xoxo Lacey Mae

Sexual Tension

Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me...

We all enjoy sex. Not just sex, but anything sexual. And for those of you who are still virgins, kudos to you. At times I wish I were still. But I am young and vital, and this body will not last forever. So why not experience all that I can now?

But as I was saying, we all enjoy it. Whether it be:

• Kissing
• Cuddling
• Oral
• Making out
• Dry Humping

or Sex-sex itself.

There are many different ways to do it. And many ways not to. Boys worry too much when it comes to this. When they worry about doing it wrong, too much, you get this little thing called

Sexual Tension

Okay, so it's not such a little thing. Now, I can't speak for every girl, while I write this blog. Because to be 100% honest (which many ppl are to scared to be) I enjoy sex a lot. And some girls may not enjoy it as much/often as I do. I think maybe sometimes too much. But I am human, and this is how I feel. So whatev. It's just an all around enjoyable experience.

Well most of the time....

So I'm not trying to sound like a whore or hooker, but I would like to think that I've experienced good and bad sex. I lost my virginity when I was 16, and have had more than one partner since then, but not many. I remember and know every guys' first and last name, and know the order in which I slept with them. So my 'number' is not high, but I do not wish to disclose it with you. That is something for me and my closest friends to know, if I choose to tell them. And ladies you should feel the same way.

If you don't wanna disclose private info, dont. It's your life lady.

[Anyway..back to sexual tension]

I'm there. Experiencing it now, and.I.Hate.It. I'm not even sure how to start.

When I like a boy, I; number one, go for their personality. They have to be nice, funny, etc etc. And after that, sexual attraction. The more I like someone, the stronger the sexual attraction is. The more I want them.

Once you've started to date someone and you become intimate with them, and the feelings are mutual...sex, I feel, should be something that comes naturally. It should just feel 'right.' We all know how weird and complicated men are. So what do you do when you find yourself in a situation when you are not, for lack of bette words, 'getting any?' Dang, I don't know. That's where I'm at right now.

Not getting ANY!

How frustrating. I mean I know I could do it myself, but it's not the same. Or I could probably just call up some random, and say hey let's do it! But I try to be a little classier than that. [Most of the time]

If you're in a relationship right now, and not getting any. We should probably reevaluate this so-called relationship again. Sex isn't everything, don't get me wrong. But it's pretty damn important. This is something that you can only share with your partner. Unless you're a whore and share it with everyone. And it should be something that you both enjoy. Beleive it or not, but I have came across a boy or two that does not enjoy sex as much as I do. A BOY! Okay, so I've came across one boy. And here I stand. At a crossroad, you could say. I'm not sure what to do. The sexual tension I have right now is making me so high strung, that I'm about to snap. Making out with someone only goes so far, and only calms my 'craving' so much. It doesn't completely satisfy me. So would this make me a nympho? I guess, maybe. At any rate, it doesn't really matter. I want it, I need it. I'm going to have to have it. [Wow...I probably sound crazy] I hope someone out there can relate to me on some kind of level....I just never thought I would actually come across a guy who over-thinks sex. Usually guys are anything but nervous to get in my pants, and they don't have enough time to actually think about what's going on. They know the basics and that's all that matters to them. So to find one that does, is shocking.

But if something doesn't happen soon, I'll go crazy. So as of now, I have no resolution. Nothing. Damnit.

Confidence--embrace it!

You can never have enough!

As women, we are faced with many situations in life that may, well, put a damper on our confidence. Seeing all these 'beautiful' women on TV and in moves and magazines, that are a size 2, and have everything you could ever dream for. Blah blah. They're mostly lame, and they piss me off. They give real women a hard time.

People don't realize that they get paid to look that good! I'm sorry that I do not have an extra million dollars lying around to spend on liposuction and butt implants. Not that I need a bigger butt, but my friend Kendall does. And she cannot afford butt implants either! It's just so hard to keep up with society's standards. I think that as real, regular, average, amazing, and awesome women we need to come together and form our own standards to live by. We cannot keep comparing ourselves to the fake chicks that walk the earth now.

So what if you're not a size -12?

It's perfectly fine to be perfectly fine with your perfect curves.

As long as you're doing it in a healthy way. What I mean is as long as your curves aren't classified as being morbidly obese, because that is a threat to your health, and you've taken being okay with your curves a little too far.

I do not want to diet my whole time and be unhappy with myself. Eventually I am going to get old and die. Do I want to look back on my life and realize that I was not entirely happy with myself and spent every waking moment thinking about what I eat and exersizing my butt off, just so I can try and make everyone else happy? I do not think so!

I am a size 9. I currently(as of 6hrs ago) weigh 138ish pounds. I am about 5'5" and average built.

• I have hips.
• I have a butt.
• I have boobs.
• I have curves.
• I have imperfections.
• I love every single one of them.

I feel that every woman, no matter what size/shape you are, should learn to love yourself. You only have one body and one life. Unless you believe in reincarnation. Then that's another story, for a different blog. But mainly, be confident.

Take chances. Be brave. Be bold. Take risks. Go the extra step. Talk to your crush. Wear that low cut shirt. Try something new.

Because if you don't, you'll never know. And you'll regret it for the rest of you life. If you try something new and it doesn't go the way you planned, oh well. Get over it. If he doesn't call you back, then he's not worth your time. All I can say, is that if you don't like something, don't sulk about it, change it.

But be true to yourself.

Always.

Because you are beautiful. No matter what they say.

Even on those days when you don't wear make-up. You're still gorgeous. =]

The Friend-Approved-Boy Test

So, this weekend Lacey texted me and said in more words, "Come with me to a bar in Madison." and I said, "Okay!" after a little bit of hesitation. Well we went to meet Hot Topic Boy. And He seems cool enough. I like him more than Little Boy Emo. Why is he cooler, well I have decided that there should be a friend test to pass guys on. When we were at HTB's house, he made us drinks and told us about his man crush, some Ultimate Fighter, but anyway, he seemed excited to meet me. He was like, "Kendall! I have heard so much about you from Lacey!"

• He remembers what she says and who her friends are. He listens AND hears! OMFG! crazy awesome!

On our way to a bar, the sidewalk was slippery and I was wearing slippery shoes, and he was walking beside me telling me about his pet iguanas and I am THE biggest klutz ever, so and I was thinking...is he that nice enough to not let me fall? So, I said "Hold my hand so I don't fall!" and he did! He helped me over these weird slush/ice piles in the street.

• He helped me! A perfect stranger! He's NICE. whoa. Not a lot of guys would have done that! So that earned extra points in my book.

Well, then HTB got REALLY drunk and spilled his guts to us about Lacey and what he thinks of her and how she is the hottest girl he has ever seen and how she is the one Hot Topic costumer that he remembers.

• Well, so this wasn't so cool because he just kept rambling. But, when I am drunk and tell people things, what I tell them is what I mean. I like to drink because it makes me a little braver and then I can say what I want and I regret saying it, but in the end it's not so bad. So I am a little uncertain about this one. Either he means it or he doesn't

When we got back to HTB's house and he was talking to me about how he likes Lacey so much and he wants to know if she has any other boyfriends. And I didn't get to say much about it to him, but he said he read our blog so I would like to say to him.

• If you REALLY like Lacey as much as you say, would you honestly let something like other boys that like her stop you? Lacey is smoking hot, a zillion boys like her!
• And if you REALLY like Lacey, Shut up and do something about it!

Idk, Little Boy Emo is very immature. I mean, he can't even get into a bar, and being 21 those are kind of a fact of life. And he is funny, but kind of childish funny. And funny like how a High Schooler is funny. And he kind of treats Lacey like one of the dudes, and he seems like he would make his whole life revolve around her, and that would be a little weird. Interesting. xo K

chances

Hmmm so it's been a while since I've been in any kind of a relationship. The last one, didn't go so well, and it's a good thing that it's over. Could I honestly see myself with that person STILL? Definitely not. Ladies: if you cannot picture yourself being with someone that ur in a relationship with, then why are you wasting your time. Precious time you could be using to play the field. And believe it or not, but it's okay and acceptable for ladies to play the field. If guys can do it, then why can't girls. And I would like to inform you that I believe Ladies are better at it then guys. Because we know when to stop. There are a few exceptions for those trashy girls out there, who play the field and have a boyfriends at the same time. You do not want to be like one of those Ladies. I've seen a few like that, and just trust me. Know when to stop. Take chances when they arise. Chances, as in love. It may turn out just to be lust, but you will never know if you never take the chance. Right? Right. So I like a boy. And I'm going to take a chance. I think. Yes I am. The best, absolute best, thing when you first start dating or hanging out with someone, is the feeling and anticipation you get. The butterflies and nervouness. It's my favorite. =] I get these kind of feelings whenever I'm with/around/thinking/talking/laughing with him. Ladies: when you get these butterfly feelings, and you can't think, can't speak, don't know how to react or what to do around a specific guy, chances are that you like him. Right? So take the chance. And if things don't work out. Then whatev. Life goes on. You'll move on, and I'm sure he will too. But you'll never know unless you try. So....if there is a specific person in your life right now that you think you wanna be with, and you get all crazy ga ga when ur around them, then take that chance.

Shallowness

Why are some girls lame? I know a girl who will only date hot guys. She won't date fat/big boys. She won't date boys that anyone would consider not attractive. Jokes on her, cause I don't think her boyfriend is attractive at all. He is cute in the way a baby turtle is. You just feel sorry for him cute. Why do girls bash guys all the time for only dating 'hot' girls, but then they are the same way? I am sure if you date an 'unhot' guy he will treat you like the princess you are. So in conclusion, I think we should all take a second look at the dorky guy that works with you, or the shy guy at the gas station, or be a shallow bitch and stick with the hot douche bag. It's your life. Kendall's list of totally date-able guys:

Kevin James. That guy from the King of Queens. He could totally be my mall cop. Firemen. Any and all...well not over the age of 30. John Edwards He is like a ken doll. Scott Cann Idk, something about him.... more, a lot more.