So when you go into a relationship and are prepared to share your heart and emotions with someone else, you expect things to be equal, do you not? I know that's what I expect to happen.
Before our time, like in the younger years of our grandparents or even their parents, females were not considered equals. They were meant to stay at home, have babies, cook, clean, not have their own thoughts, and sex their man when he wanted it. Which then in turn made more babies for them to cook, clean, and take care of. The men were the primary breadwinners, which I guess gave them the upper hand. Or whatever.
So some years go by, and women start getting jobs, and taking on more of the money responsibility themselves. But at the same time a lot of them still have to to do the at home thing, and take care and raise kids. Which is another full time job in itself...hence why I'm waiting a while before I have kids, but anyway...women have more say in the relationship business. They have more independence and a stronger voice to be heard. Women fight for Equal Rights and become more dominant. And a lot of women start to say screw the 'family scene.'
BUT for those women who don't say screw it to the family scene and are in a relationship, a reoccurring pattern has appeared.
It seems like a lot of people that I know, or people that I see in the media, are not equal as a couple. There is always a dominant breadwinner or 'ruler' of that specific relationship. I just wonder if it's possible to be equal as a couple?
A few years ago, I had a tendency to date dudes who were less of an equal than myself. They couldn't hold a job and never had any real ambition in their lives. Why did I date such douche bags? Well Im pretty sure it was because I liked the thought of being better than that person. Which I realize now is totally absurd, but then I didn't. I guess, because I had a job and real goals in life, that made me better.
You should WANT to date someone who has goals in their life and real ambition. That's just a given. I don't think you should ever have to change your standards or stoop down to meet someone else's level.
No. You both should be on equal levels, standards, ,expectations, or whatevers.
Here's what I think. I think people get lazy. In many ways actually, but from a relationship point of view with an emphasis as equals:
*we date someone who is less of an equal as ourselves because we like to feel superior. It makes us feel good about ourselves.
*if we don't have money/goals/etc., we date someone who does so we can continue on with our lives being the lazy asshole we are.
So instead of being patient, making a few mistakes, and taking a few risks...we settle. Find someone who isn't on our level and just take what we can get. We either give up part of ourself or take a part of someone else.
Ugh, but at the same time I don't want it to seem like you should think you're better than someone else. But let's be real...because that's how it should be...if you're a 20+ yr old with no goals, no job, and no intention of getting one, then I guess I would consider someone with a job and goals more of an individual than the jobless person.
The choice is up to you. Be equals. Or not.
xoxox,
L
