Friday, May 7, 2010
Falling out of friendship.
Best friends. Blood sisters. I got your back, and you got mine. The whole she-bang...Friends 'til the end, right?
In most cases, yes. But not in all.
Let's say you have a friend that you've been friends with since high school, or even further back...maybe middle or elementary school. Point being, you've been friends for a hella long time. You're so incredibly close to this person, that you could honestly tell them anything, and trust them with your life. You gossip about boys, girls, life, sex, and everything else in between. This is the kind of friend that you can spend hours talking to and tell them secrets and know that she would never ever judge you, but only try and give you her best advice. Yup, someone you can always count on. Get it?
Okay. So let's say the two of you grow a little older. And all of a sudden things start changing. She suddenly becomes too 'busy' to hang out. And I quote busy, because in all reality she's actually just choosing other people and things, over you. Now, I'm not saying that you're the only person your 'best friend' can and should hang out with. No. I'm saying that she is continuously ditching you. Continuously, like every time you try and make plans. She has no money or something else going on. OR maybe you both have boyfriends now, and it's hard to make time for eachother. But it seems like every time that you make some time, she's mysteriously busy. [AKA in the bar, getting her drink on with her boyfriend and new friends. Which you would have no problem attending with her, except that it would be nice to actually spend some quality time with your best friend. You know catch up and gossip. One on one.]
Needless to say, you're frustrated. It's come to the point that when you DO actually hang out or see eachother, it's almost awkward. You don't know what to talk about anymore because you're not sure if she's still the same person. It's even come to the point that you think she may be judging you. You do the awkward HEEEEYYY how's it going, kind of thing. Which makes it weird for everyone. Ugh.
What are you supposed to do in a situation like this, or one similiar?
Well, you could keep prying and trying to hang out with this best friend. But then you would just come off as being desperate and needy. Which is NEVER cool. So I think one or two more attempts at hanging out would be okay. But if it's still not working out after that, then that's not your fault. You tried.
You could talk to her about it. But then again you're dealing with those awkward emotions and situations. And if you did talk to her about it, it would probably just be brushed off like it's not a big deal. Or 'she didnt even notice it happening' kind of thing.
Personally, I would just go with the flow. Friendships are pretty powerful things...most of the time. And eventually she should realize who her true friends are. You know, the ones who aren't continuously drunk, and the ones who can show who they truly are.
She'll eventually come to you with some kind of issue, in need of some GOOD advice with meaning.
And at that point, it's your turn to decide whether or not you're going to give her what she needs. You could be the good friend, who said she would always be there for her, and be there for her. Or you can be a bitch and ignore her. Either way, it's your choice.
True friendships and friends last forever, and that's the kind of friend I choose to be.
Because true friends will be there long after some douche bag is.
ooxo,
L
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Delete::From Life
Deleting Boys, it's never been easier!
First is the realization it's over.. When he's just all weird. You'll kn0w, when this happens.
Next is the coming to terms with it. I think this shouldn't take too long. I mean it really honestly depends on how long your fling lasted. Everyone is different but, don't be pining a month later, out loud at least.
Then comes the deleting of those cute little texts he sent you and getting rid of the things he gave you. This can be hard when you like to read about how someone finds you sexy, or how kissable your lips are. But once you remember he hasn't talked to you in 2 weeks or so, it's not that hard to know he didn't really mean it. The things he gave you are easy to get rid of (unless it's an STD) stuffed animals are great for cousins! Flower vases, just give 'em to your mom! Candy, toss it!
Finally comes the hardest parts. The first part, deleting him from your phone. Because if you don't you'll have a few too many and text him. Or late at night when you're in bed, you'll text him. Another thing to do is delete him from Facebook. Unless you have enough restraint to not talk to him on there. The second hardest part is giving him his stuff back. Stuff like CD's and Movies. Most girls would just keep it or toss it, but remember we aren't most girls! Would you want someone to toss your things away? That's what I thought. So make it civil. A "Here's your CD back, thanks for everything, see ya around." works well.
I don't think we have to be man hating babes. I mean, I really admire and respect all the ones who've gotten to know me, I just wish it was easier to understand them sometimes, but I just have to pick myself up, and find a new one.
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