Jealousy

What is jealousy? This is probably one of the easiest words to define and associate with in your life, because everyone feels it at some point. If someone ever tells you that they dont get jealous and whatnot, well then they're a liar and need to be slapped.

No one has it that good. Okay?

I thought it would be interesting to define Jealousy in the eyes of the dictionary. The first definition is from the actual dictionary and the last two are from urbandictionary.com....which is probably a more acurate way to define things nowadays.

>Mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

>Jealousy doesnt mean that you dont trust someone. its just means that you care a lot. it means you're scared to lose someone or you feel like attention has been drawn away from you.

>The feeling people get when they cant be like you! They wish they had your looks, talent and material possessions but they don't.. so they badmouth you instead to level the playing field. When they do this they usually don't tell the truth about anything either.

I find the last definition to be quite amusing. I guess that tends to be true most of the time though.

I am probably one of the most jealous people you will come across. This is one of my major flaws, but it's not something that I can easily change. It's really not something that anyone can easily change, but rather something you need to learn to deal with. I suppose the best way to talk about jealousy is to give an example of it.

Let's say that you're dating a guy, and you find out that he's been talking to girls...texting, calling, hanging out with, whatever...and he's been 'hiding' it from you. Hiding it from you meaning; whenever you confront him about it he denies it, changes the subject, or does anything he can do to not directly discuss it. And who knows, him talking to other girls could really mean nothing at all, and you're probably just being paranoid. I guess being jealous and being paranoid, kind of go hand in hand. Wow, realization for myself. Anyway...

This scenario has happened to me numerous times. Sometimes the talking and hanging out means nothing at all, but other times it has meant something...and a week later I end up being single because this douche bag decides that this other girl was better than myself. Whatever. Whether it meant something or not, I was jealous. Jealous that I wasn't getting all the attention from my boyfriend. Jealous that I knew some other girl was good enough to catch his attention and take the light away from me. Jealous that I wasn't the only girl he was thinking of..even if it was only a friend kind of thing.

I think we tend to over analyze things when it comes to being jealous over something. Half of the time, nothing is going to happen from your boyfriend talking to another girl. He's with you, right? You're the one who gets to kiss him, hug him, hold him, and whatever him. Not these other chicks. (unless he ends up leaving you for one these other girls, and if that's the case then it wasn't meant to be in the first place) Most of the time you have absolutely nothing to worry about. There are times when you should start to question things though. Let's say you find out that your boyfriend has been talking to his ex lately. Which is okay, a little weird, but sometimes they're still friends and it's okay. But when he starts hiding it, and starts to get defensive when you bring her up, then it's time to get a little jealous/paranoid. Not only that, but then it's time to set some rules and start questioning other things.

With jealousy, comes a lack of trust. In turn, I think that lack of trust causes paranoia. You NEED trust in order to make a relationship work. It's an absolute must, and without trust in your relationship, it will never work. Guaranteed.

Now if you start getting jealous about every little thing that goes on with your dude, like some other girl posting harmless stuff on his Facebook wall, then it's time for a reality check.

Are you really supposed to be with this person if you're going to get jealous over the itty bitty little things? Where's the trust in that? There is NO trust in that. That's when you need to take a step back and deal with things on your own and stop being so freaking paranoid.

Jealousy can mean that you care a lot for someone, yes. But it can also mean that you're literally crazy. Which kind of jealousy are you going to pick?

xoxoxx,

L