the pick up

What is the one line that made you fall for the last guy you liked/dated? or what did he say that kept you talking to him? Usually if they say something about my boobs and seem likeable I will keep talking to them. Otherwise I come back with a snotty comment that makes me seem like one tough cookie and they wise up and realize that I could probally kick their ass if I wanted to.

So, how does a girl pick a guy up? I have 3 different approaches, The Normal Way, The Funny Way, and The Dirty Way.

The Normal Way

Buy him a drink. Give him a compliment. Ask him about himself. If he seems cool, swap numbers. Text him when you feel comfortable to.

So the discussion should go like this

You- Is this seat taken?

Him- Nope.

You- Ok, thanks! Hey what are you drinking? It looks good.

Him-

You- Great, would you like another on me?

Him- Thanks man, I'm

You- No problem, I'm , Hey

Him- Thanks.

You- So, where are you from? (well that might not be the best, but here in the Dells everyone in on vacay so it kind of goes with the area) or What do you think of this band?

and then you would say....omg, your biceps are huge! kiss me, then he would kiss you! lol.

The Funny Way

So the funny way is all those cheesy pickup lines that you giggled at in high school. ya know...

Is that a mirror in your pants? Becuase I can see myself in them.

Do you wash your pants with windex? Becuase I can see myself in them.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you.

Can I borrow a quarter? (why) so I can call your mom and thank him.

Hello, I am a theif and I am here to steal your heart.

Want to see my stamp collection?

or you can use pretty much anyway that makes you laugh. this is the kind of line to be used on chill guys. not the kind that spike their hair and tan.

The Dirty Way

So, this is when you want a peice of ass, and are willing to seem like a whore to get it.

Wanna see the backseat of my car?

So, I hear you have a penis.

I'm easy. Are you?

Here is 10 bucks, drink until I'm smokin' then come find me.

Excuse me, do you like orally stimulated orgasm?

So, what is your going rate?

I want you. Inside me.

Use all wisely. and always have safe sex. Safe sex is the best sex, you don't wanna have to send that, 'I think I'm late text.', so wear a latex.

Bars in Madison

This is how incredibly cute Kendall and I are.

Don't forget it

FYI: Bars in Madison are NO BETTER than bars in Wisco Dells. Sad to say that I believe Wisconsin Dells is more fun than the oh-so-great-Mad-Town. This happens to be in one of those bars in Madison. And if was supposed to be so awesome, why are we in the bathroom taking pics instead of partying it up?

Exactly.

I would like to say that girls are much nicer when they are drunk though. Every girl that we would run into in the bathroom would be nice and social. Probably because they were drunk, most def, but still. It was cool. They were cool.

But it's no Marley's!

The Friend-Approved-Boy Test

So, this weekend Lacey texted me and said in more words, "Come with me to a bar in Madison." and I said, "Okay!" after a little bit of hesitation. Well we went to meet Hot Topic Boy. And He seems cool enough. I like him more than Little Boy Emo. Why is he cooler, well I have decided that there should be a friend test to pass guys on. When we were at HTB's house, he made us drinks and told us about his man crush, some Ultimate Fighter, but anyway, he seemed excited to meet me. He was like, "Kendall! I have heard so much about you from Lacey!"

• He remembers what she says and who her friends are. He listens AND hears! OMFG! crazy awesome!

On our way to a bar, the sidewalk was slippery and I was wearing slippery shoes, and he was walking beside me telling me about his pet iguanas and I am THE biggest klutz ever, so and I was thinking...is he that nice enough to not let me fall? So, I said "Hold my hand so I don't fall!" and he did! He helped me over these weird slush/ice piles in the street.

• He helped me! A perfect stranger! He's NICE. whoa. Not a lot of guys would have done that! So that earned extra points in my book.

Well, then HTB got REALLY drunk and spilled his guts to us about Lacey and what he thinks of her and how she is the hottest girl he has ever seen and how she is the one Hot Topic costumer that he remembers.

• Well, so this wasn't so cool because he just kept rambling. But, when I am drunk and tell people things, what I tell them is what I mean. I like to drink because it makes me a little braver and then I can say what I want and I regret saying it, but in the end it's not so bad. So I am a little uncertain about this one. Either he means it or he doesn't

When we got back to HTB's house and he was talking to me about how he likes Lacey so much and he wants to know if she has any other boyfriends. And I didn't get to say much about it to him, but he said he read our blog so I would like to say to him.

• If you REALLY like Lacey as much as you say, would you honestly let something like other boys that like her stop you? Lacey is smoking hot, a zillion boys like her!
• And if you REALLY like Lacey, Shut up and do something about it!

Idk, Little Boy Emo is very immature. I mean, he can't even get into a bar, and being 21 those are kind of a fact of life. And he is funny, but kind of childish funny. And funny like how a High Schooler is funny. And he kind of treats Lacey like one of the dudes, and he seems like he would make his whole life revolve around her, and that would be a little weird. Interesting. xo K

Men and Alcohol

Alcohol is a strong, addictive thing that a lot of people use as an excuse...for whatever it may be that they need an excuse for. I have found that when you mix alcohol and men it doesn't usually go over well. Feelings get compromised, and you usually end up losing the battle in the end. Now I'm not saying that you can't have a good time and meet new guys, and all the jazz...and maybe even have a nice one nighter..if ur into that sort of thing... But DO NOT get attached to a guy you meet in a bar, or a party...well parties are difficult, and that's a whole other blog.... It usually never works out. Usually. Maybe there's a slim 1 in 100 shot that it will work out, and if you wanna stick around for that heartache, feel free. Been there, done that. No thanks. Here's something interesting too...if he confesses his undying love for you the first time you meet him (assuming he's, well...wasted) it's definitely not going to work out. Ditch that dude, cause he has; not only psychological issues, but substance abuse issues as well. YOU DON'T FIND TRUE LOVE IN A BAR. Let me repeat that...YOU WILL NOT FIND YOUR SOULMATE, YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE, MR. PERFECT, in a bar. It just doesn't happen. I don't care what kind of fantasy world you're living in. It doesn't. That guy grinding on you at the club really isn't interested in you. He's only looking for a piece, or trying to show off to his bros. Where am I going with this.... Oh yes. Be smart. You can still have a good time, maybe exchange numbers, flirt, dance, whatever. But, IF you do exchange numbers: Let him contact you. And if it takes more than two days for him to get back to you, then he's really not that interested in you, and you shouldn't waste any more of your time. We're not getting any younger here, hello! Don't wait by your phone continuously. That's it, plain and simple. You're way cooler than that. Be patient, and give it the two day rule. BUT..if you can't can't can't stand it any longer, try to give him a call/text. If he doesn't respond, let it be. Drop it. And on a last note... If you meet this guy at bar, and he's really cool and blah blah blah, but he's at the bar every night or even every other night...don't waste ur time with that either. In all honesty, he probably has twenty other girls that he 'talks' to too. And ur just another fling. Go to a cafe and meet a nice boy..ya know, those cute nerdy ones =] Or a county fair, or a concert, or a park. NOT a bar. Bars are for flirting, and practicing...To meet a cute-nerdy-boy at a cafe.