moral dilemma::being the 'other girl'

I think everyone has liked a boy, who has had a girlfriend. Or sometimes, you just so happen to start seeing a guy who has a girlfriend. Sometimes it works out in your favor, other times, not so much. But while you're sneaking around with that guy do you ever think about things? Or even if you happen to be that 'other girl' do you ever wonder? I have some questions that I have pondered, while on the job.

• If his girlfriend honestly doesn't make him happy, why can't he be honest and tell her?

• Why is it, when 2 girls find out they happen to be sharing a boyfriend, why do they get pissed at each other?

• How would you feel if you were the girlfriend? Isn't it a little sad to see her devotion to him, while you share good times with him?

• Does it make you feel good that you're good enough for him, but only good enough to be the girl he sneaks around with? You're not the girl he wants to go out in public with, and introduce to his family.

• If he complains about his girlfriend when he's with you, and you ask why he's with her, and he comes up with a lame excuse, you should probably wonder why you're with him.

• If he does leave his girlfriend for you, Remember, If he left a girl for you, he'd leave you for another girl. And if he'd cheat on another girl with you, what's to say he wouldn't cheat on you?

• What's the point in being 2nd choice? There are more than likely five guys you see in a day, that would make you their number one.

So, those are my thoughts. Usually they just cause more discussion in my mind. And when a guy says he wants to have sex with me, but I can't tell anyone, becuase he doesn't want his girlfriend to find out. That makes me want her to find out. So she can ditch his ass faster than I can deny him waffle-making. xo-k

Flirtexting

Dos and Donts of Flirtexting As you can probably already assume, Flirtexting is when you flirt through texts. There is also Sexting, which is dirty texts. But that's a whole different blog that I think I'll leave up to Kendall to write. She has more experience with that =] I've came up with a list of things that you should and shouldn't do when you first get a dude's number or first give him yours. Dos * Do text him within a reasonable amount of time after you recieve his 7. Send him a friendly hello within the first couple days of getting his digits. Introduce yourself and keep it classy. * Do get to know him. Ask him about himself. And tell him about yourself. * Do send smile faces and winks when it's appropriate. --> =] my personal fav * Do compliment him without coming off as a whore. Simple things like: you looked way cute today.... ;) * Do ask him out over a text. That way you can avoid all the awkwardness that you can sometimes come across during a face to face conversation. (some dudes would prefer to be asked out in person though, so idk, use your best judgement) * Do text him after a date, and tell him thank you. Even if you plan on never going out with him again. A simple thank you is okay. If you plan on seeing him again...."thanks for the great time tonight..cant wait 2 see you again =] " * Do text him daily. Even if it's a simple Good Morning ;) or Hey, how are you? If he doesn't wanna text back, then he won't. * Do have fun when texting him. * Do send him classy pics if he asks for one. With your face in the pic and a nice smile. Sexting would include a boob shot. Not flirtexting. Keep it clean. Don't come off easy. :) * Do tell him you miss him making you smile. :) Dont's * Don't talk about sex within the first week of meeting this dude. You will come off as a hooker whose just looking to score. If that's the case then you should be sexting, not flirtexting. * Don't confess your undying love towards them...right away. =] You'll most likely come off as desperate, and I hear that's a major turn off. * Don't text one word texts. This is annoying and unnecessary. You might as well not even text them then, or waste your time. * Don't use lol after EVERY single sentence. It's okay to lol often, but not too often. or even l(ing)mao is okay too. * Don't talk about serious serious issues while flirtexting. Nothing too personal either. Im sure dude doesn't care about your last period, or the fact that you're having mixed feelings about your sexuality. * Don't go long periods without texting..or even calling...him. It's okay to play 'hard to get', but don't play 'so hard you'll never get me'. * Don't bitch and bitch about something to him. Chances are he could care less anyway. And you're going to send him running. * Don't go overboard and hound him with texts. * Don't send forwards. Period. They're lame and useless. And come off as being childish or having no life. * Don't resend the text more than twice if he's not responding. If he's not getting after sending it twice, then he's simply 'not getting it.' Use these as guidelines. Of course each guy is going to be different, but it's up to you to use your best judgement sweety. Oh, and I would like to point out that I spoke with a dude to collaborate this list. So it's pretty legit =] He also said it was okay to use cutesy nicknames with him. But idk. I think that was just that guy in general. lola (laught out loud alot), =] L

HTB Part 2

This is a sequel to my other blog about HTB (hot topic boy). I prefer not to use real names, just incase. I guess I should probably start where the last one left off... The end of January. Well, i had thought for sure that HTB didn't like me more than a friend. I had dropped all the hints that i was really interested in him, and got no response. Well a few weeks later, I decided to go out to the bar with my friend Kendall, and we went out in the town he lives in. So we met at his place and went out. Blah blah blah. It was an awesome time. Well Kendall wrote a blog about this night (archived in Feb) and how he was saying that he thought i was cool, and asked if I had any boys. So...then i assumed that he maybe did like me? Grrr. A few weeks go by. Nothing. We just texted back and forth. Casual flirting. I would meet up with him every once in a while and get lunch. Nothing too serious. But I still couldn't get over this dude. He was just stuck in my head, pretty much every day. It's so hard knowing that you like someone, and not knowing for sure how they feel about you. I wanted to tell him everything, but was afraid of being rejected. Rejection is not a cool thing. So here come the part where the story gets interesting.... I start dating someone else. So as i write this part, i continue to ask myself, why i didnt tell him directly that i liked him (htb). Anyway...so i guess i gave up, i got so frustrated that i started dating someone else. As i've mentioned before, i'm the least patient person ever. i jump to conclusions that i shouldnt....But I still really really thought HTB was so amazing and awesome, so I couldnt stop talking to him. So i didn't. I didn't tell him that i was seeing someone else, cause i guess i didn't think it mattered. I didn't think he would ever like me. Okay so a couple months go by, and we hang out again. Another amazing time. Idk how to explain how happy he makes me feel whenever i'm with him. I can't stop smiling. He gives me the biggest butterflies everytime i even think i'm going to see him, and i just feel like i connect with him somehow. He's just overall, the coolest guy i've ever met.... So, i have a few too many drinks one night and decide to tell him how i feel about him. I tell him pretty much everything i've ever written about him: how awesome i think he is, how much i like him, and how i would totally not move to minnesota for him. He says, we should talk about this when youre not drinking. Okay cool. We get lunch the next day.... At lunch, he tells me that he likes me too. And wishes that we would have told eachother sooner. Because he just decided about a week and a half ago, that he's moving to LA. He has nothing holding him back in wisconsin. awesome. I mean no biggie. I've only been trying to get with this guy since, oh, last September. but whatever. I'm not bitter. Okay i am bitter. I'm frustrated, and making a big deal out of it. Guys are dense. Unless you tell them directly to their face how you feel about them, they'll never ever know. Or choose not to care. I wish i could change the past, but i can't. living life without regret is hard to do. fate sucks sometimes. So what to do? Well, im not sure at the moment. There isn't too much i can do i guess. he leaves soon, and he's going to find way cooler chicks in LA. He says he's not looking, and that's fine. i believe him. i mean it doesn't matter...but what girl in their right mind wouldn't go for him? he's 'the package deal' or whatever that saying is. ha ha. As of 8pm tonight, i'm currently single. and i'm going to stay that way for a long time. boys are complicated. almost too complicated for me. I could give this dude my all, everything. but i guess friendship will have to work for me. for now. who knows what will happen in the future... So the lesson to get out of reading this: If you find someone that you absolutely like, then you need to go after him. Don't be afraid of rejection. You're going to be rejected your whole life, oh well. Get over it. I think I would rather be rejected than not know at all. I'd rather try, than watch him walk away. Don't be a sally. Boys don't approach girls anymore. You have to be the one to chase them. The world doesn't work in the old fashioned ways anymore. Ugh. Learn from my mistakes. xo L

Dating vs 'Dating'

Is there a difference?

Only a HUGE one!

Too often people are confused or have mixed signals between dating and 'dating.'

Dating is: When you are causally seeing someone. Maybe on a regular basis, maybe not. Nothing is set in stone, but there is a little connection between the two of you. You could be dating this one specific person, while dating another one. You might make out here or there and make waffles on ocassion. It's nothing too serious. But something to be taken into consideration at the same time. A very confusing sort of thing. Most definitely.

'Dating' is: When you are offically with this specific person. There is no other one that you would want to be with at this very specific moment. You are boyfriend and girlfriend. A couple. YOU make out and make waffles with this person only. Well in an ideal world, that's how it would be. Whatever, all that jazz.

Too many people get the two of them mixed up and muddled together.

Love is such an odd thing.

But yet it happens.

So is there a way to tell the difference between the two, so you're not giving this guy your heart when all he wants to do is casually date? Well duh of course there is!

Signs he wants to date:

• you hang out at his house more than publically. Like his house all the time.
• He doesn't introduce you to his close friends. Random strangers doesn't count as friends.
• He seldom looks into your eyes. Like a close connection.
• He rushes you out of his house the 'morning after'
• There is a lot of awkward silence, and you're not sure what to talk about most of the time.
• He makes plans at the last minute. He doesn't want to commit to anything too serious with you.
• He calls you dude.
• You could go days without hearing from him.

Signs he wants to 'date':

• He calls you. You don't always have to be the one to call him.
• He listens to what you have to say.
• He likes being seen in public with you.
• He asks you to hang out.
• He holds your hand where other people can see.
• He looks in your eyes.
• He sends cutesy texts that make you smile.
• He shares his feelings with you.

These are just a few examples. I mean every guy is different in their own way. But I believe these are some good guidlines to go by. And if he can't make up his mind whether or not he wants to date or 'date' then you should ditch him. Cause you are way too cool to deal with some lame ass punk bitch. =]

xoxo Lacey Mae

Old Fashionedness

I grew in the country and I was taught to be nice to everyone. And my parents raised me with morals and I don't know about you, but I am a good old-fashioned country girl. I have grown up reading Little House on the Prairie books, and listening to my aunt's stories about boys. One thing that I always knew is that if you really like a boy, you cook dinner for him. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach right? Well maybe that's not the best way to choose a life mate these days. But cooking dinner, or at least trying, shows that you care enough to go out of the way for him like that. Rollerskating! Let's face it, we probably haven't strapped on roller skates in a little while, but trying something totally different like that, puts you both out of your comfort zone and you can relax and have a good time. Until you fall and break your wrist...haha. Bowling! My town recently went from one bowling alley/bar to three alleys! and the nice thing about it is that at the new ones, you can't smoke so when you leave you don't smell like a cheap whore. But unless you're on a bowling team, the chance that either of you are amazing bowlers is slim to none. Maybe make it even more fun by seeing who can get the lowest score. Snow! Snow is part of life here from November until March, so take advantage of the BIG snowfalls go sledding and build a snowman. I might be lame, but with the right guy, a night watching CSI would be amazing-er than it already is. In conclusion, my list may be lame, but sorry, I am 21 and don't want to just text someone all the time and see them at school. That's not what a relationship is. yo. xo k