the pick up

What is the one line that made you fall for the last guy you liked/dated? or what did he say that kept you talking to him? Usually if they say something about my boobs and seem likeable I will keep talking to them. Otherwise I come back with a snotty comment that makes me seem like one tough cookie and they wise up and realize that I could probally kick their ass if I wanted to.

So, how does a girl pick a guy up? I have 3 different approaches, The Normal Way, The Funny Way, and The Dirty Way.

The Normal Way

Buy him a drink. Give him a compliment. Ask him about himself. If he seems cool, swap numbers. Text him when you feel comfortable to.

So the discussion should go like this

You- Is this seat taken?

Him- Nope.

You- Ok, thanks! Hey what are you drinking? It looks good.

Him-

You- Great, would you like another on me?

Him- Thanks man, I'm

You- No problem, I'm , Hey

Him- Thanks.

You- So, where are you from? (well that might not be the best, but here in the Dells everyone in on vacay so it kind of goes with the area) or What do you think of this band?

and then you would say....omg, your biceps are huge! kiss me, then he would kiss you! lol.

The Funny Way

So the funny way is all those cheesy pickup lines that you giggled at in high school. ya know...

Is that a mirror in your pants? Becuase I can see myself in them.

Do you wash your pants with windex? Becuase I can see myself in them.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you.

Can I borrow a quarter? (why) so I can call your mom and thank him.

Hello, I am a theif and I am here to steal your heart.

Want to see my stamp collection?

or you can use pretty much anyway that makes you laugh. this is the kind of line to be used on chill guys. not the kind that spike their hair and tan.

The Dirty Way

So, this is when you want a peice of ass, and are willing to seem like a whore to get it.

Wanna see the backseat of my car?

So, I hear you have a penis.

I'm easy. Are you?

Here is 10 bucks, drink until I'm smokin' then come find me.

Excuse me, do you like orally stimulated orgasm?

So, what is your going rate?

I want you. Inside me.

Use all wisely. and always have safe sex. Safe sex is the best sex, you don't wanna have to send that, 'I think I'm late text.', so wear a latex.

Sexual Tension

Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me...

We all enjoy sex. Not just sex, but anything sexual. And for those of you who are still virgins, kudos to you. At times I wish I were still. But I am young and vital, and this body will not last forever. So why not experience all that I can now?

But as I was saying, we all enjoy it. Whether it be:

• Kissing
• Cuddling
• Oral
• Making out
• Dry Humping

or Sex-sex itself.

There are many different ways to do it. And many ways not to. Boys worry too much when it comes to this. When they worry about doing it wrong, too much, you get this little thing called

Sexual Tension

Okay, so it's not such a little thing. Now, I can't speak for every girl, while I write this blog. Because to be 100% honest (which many ppl are to scared to be) I enjoy sex a lot. And some girls may not enjoy it as much/often as I do. I think maybe sometimes too much. But I am human, and this is how I feel. So whatev. It's just an all around enjoyable experience.

Well most of the time....

So I'm not trying to sound like a whore or hooker, but I would like to think that I've experienced good and bad sex. I lost my virginity when I was 16, and have had more than one partner since then, but not many. I remember and know every guys' first and last name, and know the order in which I slept with them. So my 'number' is not high, but I do not wish to disclose it with you. That is something for me and my closest friends to know, if I choose to tell them. And ladies you should feel the same way.

If you don't wanna disclose private info, dont. It's your life lady.

[Anyway..back to sexual tension]

I'm there. Experiencing it now, and.I.Hate.It. I'm not even sure how to start.

When I like a boy, I; number one, go for their personality. They have to be nice, funny, etc etc. And after that, sexual attraction. The more I like someone, the stronger the sexual attraction is. The more I want them.

Once you've started to date someone and you become intimate with them, and the feelings are mutual...sex, I feel, should be something that comes naturally. It should just feel 'right.' We all know how weird and complicated men are. So what do you do when you find yourself in a situation when you are not, for lack of bette words, 'getting any?' Dang, I don't know. That's where I'm at right now.

Not getting ANY!

How frustrating. I mean I know I could do it myself, but it's not the same. Or I could probably just call up some random, and say hey let's do it! But I try to be a little classier than that. [Most of the time]

If you're in a relationship right now, and not getting any. We should probably reevaluate this so-called relationship again. Sex isn't everything, don't get me wrong. But it's pretty damn important. This is something that you can only share with your partner. Unless you're a whore and share it with everyone. And it should be something that you both enjoy. Beleive it or not, but I have came across a boy or two that does not enjoy sex as much as I do. A BOY! Okay, so I've came across one boy. And here I stand. At a crossroad, you could say. I'm not sure what to do. The sexual tension I have right now is making me so high strung, that I'm about to snap. Making out with someone only goes so far, and only calms my 'craving' so much. It doesn't completely satisfy me. So would this make me a nympho? I guess, maybe. At any rate, it doesn't really matter. I want it, I need it. I'm going to have to have it. [Wow...I probably sound crazy] I hope someone out there can relate to me on some kind of level....I just never thought I would actually come across a guy who over-thinks sex. Usually guys are anything but nervous to get in my pants, and they don't have enough time to actually think about what's going on. They know the basics and that's all that matters to them. So to find one that does, is shocking.

But if something doesn't happen soon, I'll go crazy. So as of now, I have no resolution. Nothing. Damnit.

Confidence--embrace it!

You can never have enough!

As women, we are faced with many situations in life that may, well, put a damper on our confidence. Seeing all these 'beautiful' women on TV and in moves and magazines, that are a size 2, and have everything you could ever dream for. Blah blah. They're mostly lame, and they piss me off. They give real women a hard time.

People don't realize that they get paid to look that good! I'm sorry that I do not have an extra million dollars lying around to spend on liposuction and butt implants. Not that I need a bigger butt, but my friend Kendall does. And she cannot afford butt implants either! It's just so hard to keep up with society's standards. I think that as real, regular, average, amazing, and awesome women we need to come together and form our own standards to live by. We cannot keep comparing ourselves to the fake chicks that walk the earth now.

So what if you're not a size -12?

It's perfectly fine to be perfectly fine with your perfect curves.

As long as you're doing it in a healthy way. What I mean is as long as your curves aren't classified as being morbidly obese, because that is a threat to your health, and you've taken being okay with your curves a little too far.

I do not want to diet my whole time and be unhappy with myself. Eventually I am going to get old and die. Do I want to look back on my life and realize that I was not entirely happy with myself and spent every waking moment thinking about what I eat and exersizing my butt off, just so I can try and make everyone else happy? I do not think so!

I am a size 9. I currently(as of 6hrs ago) weigh 138ish pounds. I am about 5'5" and average built.

• I have hips.
• I have a butt.
• I have boobs.
• I have curves.
• I have imperfections.
• I love every single one of them.

I feel that every woman, no matter what size/shape you are, should learn to love yourself. You only have one body and one life. Unless you believe in reincarnation. Then that's another story, for a different blog. But mainly, be confident.

Take chances. Be brave. Be bold. Take risks. Go the extra step. Talk to your crush. Wear that low cut shirt. Try something new.

Because if you don't, you'll never know. And you'll regret it for the rest of you life. If you try something new and it doesn't go the way you planned, oh well. Get over it. If he doesn't call you back, then he's not worth your time. All I can say, is that if you don't like something, don't sulk about it, change it.

But be true to yourself.

Always.

Because you are beautiful. No matter what they say.

Even on those days when you don't wear make-up. You're still gorgeous. =]

Sugarcoating It.

I really like to read and learn. Since I have a lot of spare time on my hands lately, I have spent a lot of time reading. I like to get books from St. Vincent de Paul's because they are DIRT CHEAP. I got 7 books from there for 3.50. You can't even buy a magazine for 3.50! But I really like to read those Harlequin romances. They are small (I can finish one in a day), the guys on most covers are hot like fire, and the love in the book is something that I want to expirence. I read my first romance when I was a senior in high school, and i thought it was dirty! It wasn't even close to as naughty as one i read this summer, where he put cherries in her and ate them out and licked imported beer off her and put it in her butt...(I think I need to read it again). In the end all the books are the same.

• He rescues her, or she rescues him. Someone is always rescued. No one can just be ok, they need rescuing. So, I need to be rescued in order to find the love of my life.

• One of them is rich. Or has enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. So I guess that the man of my dreams will be rich. I can't wait.

• When they touch each other, like when they first shake hands, bump in an room, whatever, a shock runs through them. More then electricty. So, now I will start to touch every man I see. I will see how that one goes.

• Kissing each other is like nothing they have ever felt before. It's like Miss. K always tells us about the love of her life. I don't even want to go on about this kissing shit.

• He always is tall/dark/handsome/mysterious/built. Always. She is pretty much always thin, blonde, with average size boobs. Oh well, no romance for me I guess.

Well, as much as I love reading romances they make me feel a little empty inside. They never fight. They think about each other all the time. And the worst part is that all though the men are totally boneable, they aren't real. I know that I will not marry any man that women envy, and I am cool with that! Why can't they write a real one! One more thing, I think Lil' Wayne should always wear a shirt. I can see his ribs. NOT HOT.

yep

this is how I feel! xo K

Bars in Madison

This is how incredibly cute Kendall and I are.

Don't forget it

FYI: Bars in Madison are NO BETTER than bars in Wisco Dells. Sad to say that I believe Wisconsin Dells is more fun than the oh-so-great-Mad-Town. This happens to be in one of those bars in Madison. And if was supposed to be so awesome, why are we in the bathroom taking pics instead of partying it up?

Exactly.

I would like to say that girls are much nicer when they are drunk though. Every girl that we would run into in the bathroom would be nice and social. Probably because they were drunk, most def, but still. It was cool. They were cool.

But it's no Marley's!

The Friend-Approved-Boy Test

So, this weekend Lacey texted me and said in more words, "Come with me to a bar in Madison." and I said, "Okay!" after a little bit of hesitation. Well we went to meet Hot Topic Boy. And He seems cool enough. I like him more than Little Boy Emo. Why is he cooler, well I have decided that there should be a friend test to pass guys on. When we were at HTB's house, he made us drinks and told us about his man crush, some Ultimate Fighter, but anyway, he seemed excited to meet me. He was like, "Kendall! I have heard so much about you from Lacey!"

• He remembers what she says and who her friends are. He listens AND hears! OMFG! crazy awesome!

On our way to a bar, the sidewalk was slippery and I was wearing slippery shoes, and he was walking beside me telling me about his pet iguanas and I am THE biggest klutz ever, so and I was thinking...is he that nice enough to not let me fall? So, I said "Hold my hand so I don't fall!" and he did! He helped me over these weird slush/ice piles in the street.

• He helped me! A perfect stranger! He's NICE. whoa. Not a lot of guys would have done that! So that earned extra points in my book.

Well, then HTB got REALLY drunk and spilled his guts to us about Lacey and what he thinks of her and how she is the hottest girl he has ever seen and how she is the one Hot Topic costumer that he remembers.

• Well, so this wasn't so cool because he just kept rambling. But, when I am drunk and tell people things, what I tell them is what I mean. I like to drink because it makes me a little braver and then I can say what I want and I regret saying it, but in the end it's not so bad. So I am a little uncertain about this one. Either he means it or he doesn't

When we got back to HTB's house and he was talking to me about how he likes Lacey so much and he wants to know if she has any other boyfriends. And I didn't get to say much about it to him, but he said he read our blog so I would like to say to him.

• If you REALLY like Lacey as much as you say, would you honestly let something like other boys that like her stop you? Lacey is smoking hot, a zillion boys like her!
• And if you REALLY like Lacey, Shut up and do something about it!

Idk, Little Boy Emo is very immature. I mean, he can't even get into a bar, and being 21 those are kind of a fact of life. And he is funny, but kind of childish funny. And funny like how a High Schooler is funny. And he kind of treats Lacey like one of the dudes, and he seems like he would make his whole life revolve around her, and that would be a little weird. Interesting. xo K