What comes around comes around, again.

A while ago, (wo-zah-wa to be exact) I met a dude. We went from 'nice glasses' to making out in about a minute. And then I texted him, and we talked, and he told me some rather great things. But then. He. Just. Stopped. Texting. First I thought he was busy. Second I thought he just wasn't that cool. So, I just stopped trying. I called him once. From Marley's. But it was the end. I delete everything nice he said and his number the next morning. Fall turned into winter... And one day he texted me (today in fact). He said he had some personal issues to work out before he kept going along like this. (not really sure what that means) But then we get to the real reason. He's coming to town next week. And would like to hang out. To talk, catch up, eat, drink. this is my list of concerns

• This is a Booty Call
• I am pretty sure he knows that I haven't had sex
• I might want to do this
• I know that I shouldn't
• I know that it'll just be a one time thing
• I think spending Valentine's Day with some dude is a better idea than getting drunk and crying a little.
• He was like, a crazy good kisser.
• I am not sure what to wear.

:/ this face is totally the way I feel. xo-K

InSecure

Emotional Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless. It seems weird to look it up and all, I mean to me insecurity is that feeling I get when a boy tells me he likes me. I wonder why he thinks I am worthy of his affection. Because I know, there are girls ten times hotter than me out there. And then when I do start to cool off about that, I start to freak out becuase I know eventually he'll want to see me in various states of undress. And then I really freak out becuase I know, that there are girls 100 times hotter than me out there. And then, I always feel that it's best to end it before it even starts becuase, it's always easier to be the one that hurts than to get hurt. I am one of the odd ones, but what about those people that are too insecure to be alone? It could be the girl that stays with that guy her friends don't really care for. Or the girl that hasn't been single since she was 10 for more than a week. Why do we worry so much about our what makes us nervous? And why does it make us so nervous? I am trying to work on it. I spend a lot of time thinking lately. Why do I let what I don't like hold me back so much?! My insecurites keep me from being in a relationship. Maybe it just means I'm not ready for one. Although, I would be a rather good girl to have around, I mean I cook, do laundry, give bj's, and I do have a pretty rad personality. All these are things boys do like in girls, or so I'm guessing. I wish, that we could all just make what bothers us just drift away. And allow us to be free, to do what we've always wanted to do. But for now, I will just stick to being a strong independent women, who drinks a little too much on Valentines day and cries. xo-K