And when I imagined having it, it was with someone I liked, in a memorable way.
But, that's not how it happened at all.
On Saturday night, I went to go watch a movie with a boy, at his house.
Halfway through the movie, I decided I didn't really like him.
He kept trying to hold my hand, and that, I thought was weird.
And he kept telling me I was beautiful and that he's surprised their isn't a line of guys to date me.
Whatever.
And then we started to make out, and ya know. I'm a woman, I am not above just using someone for some fun. And then he asked me if I wanted to go into the other room. (Not really, I'm fine on a couch, but whatever) and admist the removal of clothes I kept feeling his penis poking down there, and I would scoot away from it. But it got to the point where I couldn't scoot away anymore. I had my eyes closed and felt something. There. I assumed it was his hand. but then I opened my eyes and realized it wasn't. I'm not sure how it all happend but then he took it out, and I sat up, and he kept telling me he was sorry that he didn't realize...(how do you not realize???) I told him it was fine whatever, then said I needed to go. So I picked up my clothes, and went to the bathroom and got dressed and left. He tried calling me and he texted me. But I didn't want to talk to him. I called my friend, and just cried. I felt so stupid. I still do! I feel stupid for trusting someone, I mean I told him, I didn't want to have sex. Sure it wasn't that day. But when you get a girl that's never done it before, you remember shit like that. Or not, whatever.
So, I have learned
- never take off your panties, they are the last line of defense
- don't close your eyes just becuase you don't want to look at him
- oh, and above all, boys are weird
