Disclaimer

So I've come to realize that we may write about a lot of touchy subjects when it comes to this blog. And not everyone is going to agree with what we have to write. I'm okay with that. But I know that we have made some people upset with the things that we write. Which is just a matter of how you want to take things and how you choose to react. Which is not my problem and not my fault. And I don't think I should have to apologize if something is written on a personal blog, that offends you. No. I just want to clarify that I never use names and I only write from personal experience. Which I do not believe to be a bad thing. This is an advice type blog. And that's what it's meant for. So if I hurt some random guy's feelings about a True blog. Then so be it. I only think that they get so offended because they don't have their own personal blog that they can publish to the entire world. Jealousy perhaps?

the depressed vixen

I am a generally perky, happy go lucky, smiley, kind of girl. Ya know the kind that would be the cheerleader/student council president/year book editor in high school. The kind that always has a smile on her face and is always making people happy. But last night I got home and realized. I am doomed. I am 22 years old. I am single. I have cellulite. I am a virgin. All boys want from me is to take my v-card. I can either emotionally or physically connect with a man, but not in both ways. I guess it all started when I saw this girl on Friday night, who is 22 and dating a guy. She is as unfeminine as they come. In her camoflauge jacket and totally unstyled hair. And she was with a boy. Like a cute boy. And she was being a bitch to him. And I seriously felt like crap. I try, I look cute, I am fun, I am outgoing. So why do guys not want to hang out with me? All they really want is to sex it up with me. And that's only becuase I'm a virgin. So basically what I am getting at is, Maybe no matter how bad it is, I'll always have the support of my fellow vixen, Lacey. Oh and my one friend Jeff. I think as long as you wake up, and have a friend who will help you, you have it going good :) xo-K

The Experiment

The title is pretty self explanatory(this post is kind of old, but I thought I should finish it)... I've been used and abused, kicked to the curb, shot down, walked all over, etc etc. You probably get the point, right? Guys have treated me like shit before. Most guys actually. I mean I've dated a few seldom ones that havent been complete jerks. But they're a dime a dozen, and hard to find, and more often than not, I do not find them. And then, once I think I have found a decent dude, he too turns out to be a complete jerk. So... One day, well probably one night actually, I decided I was going to play this 'game' right back. Give guys a taste of their own medicine. In fact, it was one night at Marleys... So I'm dancing. I spot a cute guy. We dance. He gives me his number. I give him a ride home. He texts me the next day, says he wants to hang out. Cool, I guess. We hang out. I don't really feel a connection with him. BUT. I decide to make him my experiment. I want to know what it feels like when the tables are turned. And yeah I know how bad it hurts to be used, but damnit. I think that it needs to be done. I think every guy who has ever hurt a girl, should feel what it feels like. Should experience the heartache and whatever... So. He falls for me. So he says. He texts me all the time. I tell him what he wants to hear. But, god, he's so self confident and high on his horse. Honestly, I wish you could meet this guy and understand how cocky he is. Which makes this even better. He fueled the fire I guess, and made me want to make him understand. He would tell me about his past relationships and how he's treated other girls like shit, (I kid you not) and then he preceded to tell me that he wanted to settle down with one girl...that girl being me. Ha. Priceless. [Now, don't get me wrong, I had some feelings for this dude. I mean when he wasn't thinking he was god's gift to women, and let me tell you he did, he was decent. But that was only about 25% of the time.] ...anyway. I really made him think that he was something 'special'. Which, he wasn't. And I probably even lead him on, a little. Told him how cool I thought he was and whatever. He would ask me how I felt about him, but I never once told him that I really really liked him enough to date him. 'Cause well, I didn't.

He just assumed.

So this makes me wonder if girls are this easily convinced? Do we just assume that guys like us enough? And that's why they're hanging out with us?

I'd like to think not. I'd love to hope not.

So I was really starting to get sick of this dude. Only after about a month. His assumptions about everything were getting really annoying. But I couldn't find a way to break it off. But him being the awesome dude that he is (sarcasm), I didn't have to...One night we were driving in my car and I get a text message from him..which was weird because he was sitting next to me. And it said something along the lines of 'not being able to wait until he could perform some kind of sexual something or other to me.' BUT the text wasnt for me. haha. Busted. He was heartbroken that I wanted to stop seeing him.

Honestly dude?

Nothing like making himself look like a bigger ass then he already is/was. 'Twas perfect.

Oh, and then I seen him a month later, after totally writing him off. I hung out with him a few more times. He assumed I like him again. And then I told him he was absolutely wrong for me, and I couldn't go on seeing him, when I knew he wanted more. I couldn't find it in myself to 'break his heart' again. Well, let's just say he didn't take it so well and sat outside of my apartment door waiting for me to come out, for about 3 hours.

I didn't come out.

Point being...

I couldn't stoop as low as him.

xo,

L

Being 'You'

Have you ever felt like you don't fit in? Like everyone else around you just doesn't accept you? Or that you stand out like a sore thumb?

Well I don't really see what's so wrong about that. I think that nowadays it's becoming harder and harder to be your own person, to be an actual

'individual'

Everyone is conforming and losing sight of who they truly are. (If you're not one of those everyone-kind-of-people, I give you kudos) And it's sad and pathetic. I mean I can sort of understnd why people conform to fit someone else's standards...maybe you're scared, maybe you're trying to fit in with some 'cool' clique at school, maybe you don't know who you really are as a person, you don't want to be judged, you're trying to win the heart of 'that boy', you're finding yourself, blah blah, etc etc.

At the same time, I think it's a load of bullshit.

But we see it happen every day. Girls lose sight of what's truly important in life and forget who they are. They change their beliefs, they ditch friends, ditch this and ditch that, become a bitch, become anaorexic, and don't give themselves enough credit, blah blah, whatever it may be.

I get it. Life is hard. But it's not like it gets any easier, and who are you really helping, by not being yourself?

I get shit all the time for my platinum blonde hair, septum piercing, recycling symbol tattoo, or whatever it may be. You have to learn to not let it bother you. Tell them to fuck off. I could really care less what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm happy with myself, then that's all that matters =]

You only live once and you might as well live it up while you can. Do you honestly want to live under someone else's shadow and always second guess yourself? Be unhappy?

Ah, no.

BUT. No matter how much I preach to you and tell you that it's okay to be yourself, it's a lesson you have to learn on your own. And most people won't listen to such advice. But I'm going to keep telling you that it's A-okay gurrrrlllfriend. And if you lose 'friends' by being yourself, then they're not really your friends in the first place...not the kind that you want in your life anyway. Trust me.

Oh, and let me remind you that, there is life after high school/college. And it's called the REAL WORLD. It's hard, but I promise you'll get through it. You have to be a strong individual. You have to be the amazing person you truly are and do what makes you happy. Because it's your life, and you are an amazing individual. Trust me.

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.

Xoxxxo,

L