Happiness

I know you'll read this. And you may be upset that I didn't bring this to you first. And I'm okay with that. Finally I'm okay with that. I've been tip-toeing around your emotions, holding things back, because I didn't want to do anything to upset you, in fear that that may be the last time I would ever talk to you. But I can't live life like that. I need you to know. You say you care, but you have things going on in your life right now. Okay. I get it. [I'm blonde, not mentally challenged]. You say you mean/meant everything you say/said. And you're not sure why I find it so hard to believe. Now I know why I find it unbelievable. Soulmate: Noun; Verb; The first time you glimpse at each other you are immediately drawn to each other, extremely different than ever recognizing anyone you have ever met before. You already know them, feel who they are. Then you speak and realize this is the most amazing person you have ever met and you feel unnaturally comfortable with them. Instead of wanting to know the "basics" about them it is like meeting an old friend you haven't seen in ages and it is time to catch up. This is the person you have been searching for. In that moment the longing stops but you don't realize until you are forced to be apart. This person completes you on a spiritual level and anything could happen, good or bad, one look in their eyes brings a smile to your face and peace to your heart. Suddenly everything you have worked for in your life becomes clear and the path you were unsure of following is now being lit for the both of you to follow. All your fears vanish and you no longer question your purpose in life because together the purpose evolves on its own. You find their insecurities as parts of their soul you need to heal. Mutual understanding and respect. Days filled with laughter. Even if you are sitting next to each other, touching each other, it still feels like they are miles away because that person could never be close enough yet at the same time it feels like you are melting together and your spirits are dancing. I know it's lengthy. But this is what a soulmate (I doubt I could even define it better myself, in my own words) is. This is what I experienced... This is not how you feel. And now I realize this. Why am I waiting for you, when you can't or simply won't do the same for me. This makes me seem mentally challenged. This proves how 'blonde' I can be. I want to remain your friend. But now I know we may never possibly be more than that. And I can finally say I'm okay with that. I'm okay to be really good friends with you...We had a good run while it lasted, right? We made eachother happy when we could. But life happens, and people change. [Change in short amounts of time apparently]. I believe you may have found true happiness somewhere else, and now I'm going to try and do the same. xo