The Experiment

The title is pretty self explanatory(this post is kind of old, but I thought I should finish it)... I've been used and abused, kicked to the curb, shot down, walked all over, etc etc. You probably get the point, right? Guys have treated me like shit before. Most guys actually. I mean I've dated a few seldom ones that havent been complete jerks. But they're a dime a dozen, and hard to find, and more often than not, I do not find them. And then, once I think I have found a decent dude, he too turns out to be a complete jerk. So... One day, well probably one night actually, I decided I was going to play this 'game' right back. Give guys a taste of their own medicine. In fact, it was one night at Marleys... So I'm dancing. I spot a cute guy. We dance. He gives me his number. I give him a ride home. He texts me the next day, says he wants to hang out. Cool, I guess. We hang out. I don't really feel a connection with him. BUT. I decide to make him my experiment. I want to know what it feels like when the tables are turned. And yeah I know how bad it hurts to be used, but damnit. I think that it needs to be done. I think every guy who has ever hurt a girl, should feel what it feels like. Should experience the heartache and whatever... So. He falls for me. So he says. He texts me all the time. I tell him what he wants to hear. But, god, he's so self confident and high on his horse. Honestly, I wish you could meet this guy and understand how cocky he is. Which makes this even better. He fueled the fire I guess, and made me want to make him understand. He would tell me about his past relationships and how he's treated other girls like shit, (I kid you not) and then he preceded to tell me that he wanted to settle down with one girl...that girl being me. Ha. Priceless. [Now, don't get me wrong, I had some feelings for this dude. I mean when he wasn't thinking he was god's gift to women, and let me tell you he did, he was decent. But that was only about 25% of the time.] ...anyway. I really made him think that he was something 'special'. Which, he wasn't. And I probably even lead him on, a little. Told him how cool I thought he was and whatever. He would ask me how I felt about him, but I never once told him that I really really liked him enough to date him. 'Cause well, I didn't.

He just assumed.

So this makes me wonder if girls are this easily convinced? Do we just assume that guys like us enough? And that's why they're hanging out with us?

I'd like to think not. I'd love to hope not.

So I was really starting to get sick of this dude. Only after about a month. His assumptions about everything were getting really annoying. But I couldn't find a way to break it off. But him being the awesome dude that he is (sarcasm), I didn't have to...One night we were driving in my car and I get a text message from him..which was weird because he was sitting next to me. And it said something along the lines of 'not being able to wait until he could perform some kind of sexual something or other to me.' BUT the text wasnt for me. haha. Busted. He was heartbroken that I wanted to stop seeing him.

Honestly dude?

Nothing like making himself look like a bigger ass then he already is/was. 'Twas perfect.

Oh, and then I seen him a month later, after totally writing him off. I hung out with him a few more times. He assumed I like him again. And then I told him he was absolutely wrong for me, and I couldn't go on seeing him, when I knew he wanted more. I couldn't find it in myself to 'break his heart' again. Well, let's just say he didn't take it so well and sat outside of my apartment door waiting for me to come out, for about 3 hours.

I didn't come out.

Point being...

I couldn't stoop as low as him.

xo,

L