='s not so =

So when you go into a relationship and are prepared to share your heart and emotions with someone else, you expect things to be equal, do you not? I know that's what I expect to happen.

Before our time, like in the younger years of our grandparents or even their parents, females were not considered equals. They were meant to stay at home, have babies, cook, clean, not have their own thoughts, and sex their man when he wanted it. Which then in turn made more babies for them to cook, clean, and take care of. The men were the primary breadwinners, which I guess gave them the upper hand.  Or whatever.

So some years go by, and women start getting jobs, and taking on more of the money responsibility themselves. But at the same time a lot of them still have to to do the at home thing, and take care and raise kids. Which is another full time job in itself...hence why I'm waiting a while before I have kids, but anyway...women have more say in the relationship business. They have more independence and a stronger voice to be heard. Women fight for Equal Rights and become more dominant. And a lot of women start to say screw the 'family scene.'

BUT for those women who don't say screw it to the family scene and are in a relationship, a reoccurring pattern has appeared.

It seems like a lot of people that I know, or people that I see in the media, are not equal as a couple. There is always a dominant breadwinner or 'ruler' of that specific relationship. I just wonder if it's possible to be equal as a couple?

A few years ago, I had a tendency to date dudes who were less of an equal than myself. They couldn't hold a job and never had any real ambition in their lives. Why did I date such douche bags? Well Im pretty sure it was because I liked the thought of being better than that person. Which I realize now is totally absurd, but then I didn't. I guess, because I had a job and real goals in life, that made me better.
You should WANT to date someone who has goals in their life and real ambition. That's just a given. I don't think you should ever have to change your standards or stoop down to meet someone else's level.

No. You both should be on equal levels, standards, ,expectations, or whatevers.

Here's what I think. I think people get lazy. In many ways actually, but from a relationship point of view with an emphasis as equals:
*we date someone who is less of an equal as ourselves because we like to feel superior. It makes us feel good about ourselves.
*if we don't have money/goals/etc., we date someone who does so we can continue on with our lives being the lazy asshole we are.

So instead of being patient, making a few mistakes, and taking a few risks...we settle. Find someone who isn't on our level and just take what we can get. We either give up part of ourself or take a part of someone else.

Ugh, but at the same time I don't want it to seem like you should think you're better than someone else. But let's be real...because that's how it should be...if you're a 20+ yr old with no goals, no job, and no intention of getting one, then I guess I would consider someone with a job and goals more of an individual than the jobless person.

The choice is up to you. Be equals. Or not.


xoxox,

L

Have you ever thrown a handful of glitter in the air?

I have been thinking, after getting done with all my boy drama,
from John to Jerad to Mike to Kyle,
I think I am done with falling in like with boys for awhile.

I have been told by all that I am beautiful and smart and funny and sexy and simply amazing.
Well if this is true, why don't they try harder?
I told John that I wanted to make waffles with him, I told Mike he could make waffles with me, but no waffles have been made with me.

And then I find out that most have other girls.
Ok, well I do have other boys I flirt with, but I would stop if it got serious.
But really, how special, beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing am I if they are telling it to another girl?
One that I am fairly certain isn't nearly as amazing as I.

I have gotten to the point where I am tired of trying to find someone to make waffles with,
I am tired of all these pointless guys that I seem to waste my time liking.
Have you ever settled for something becuase you don't think something better likes you?
I don't know what I'm looking for anymore.

I don't know why it's my looks that stun boys first.
It's not like I'm not smart or funny. and I' do this thing called speaking my mind that gets me in trouble.
I must do one of two things, get really dumb, or not be cute anymore.

I have had a hard year.
Last summer, the job that I loved more than anything closed.
Then I didn't have a job for awhile.
Then I was working 2 jobs that made me want to crash my car into a tree.
But I met this guy, and although I wasn't my normal self, it felt nice to not have to worry about work for the few hours we hung out. And I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be someone else for him.
But That all went well.

And then there was Jerad.
He came to town for the car show.
I was totally and completly comfortable with him.
But he didn't make waffles with me.
He said he just wanted booty.
ummm...
And it seems to me that he has a thing for girls with babies and low self esteem.
which is SO not me.

Then I was content with being friends with benefits with another boy.
But after we met for a second time, he deleted me from facebook.
I wasn't commenting on everything he wrote, hell, I hardly even talked to him,
So I take it I must not be the kind of girl he wants to give him a bj when he's in town.

and them came Kyle.
I met him in a very unconventional way.
But he seemed nice.
I got over douche bags, and comfortable enough with him.
I asked him if he would want to go to the drive in. He seemed very excited about this.
Then the next day he told me, he now has a girlfriend.
But it's nothing I did.
but how special can i really be, if he's telling a girl the same thing as he's telling me?

I've tried my hand at this dating thing.
I've decided I don't like it.
I just feel used.

Douche #1 asked me if he could help me with my waffle problem,
But I honestly feel like after wards, I'd just roll over and cry.
Becuase if he really honestly wants to ditch me to date girls with babies,
What am I then?
I've made some pretty good choices with my life.
But sadly, it looks like this princess will never get her happy ending.

xoK