The Douche Bag List

Compiled over the summer with the help of the many vintage vixens (&jeff) 1-3 Average Guy 4-7 Douche Like 8-13 Douche-ish 14-17 Very Douche-y 18-22 Douche Bag 23+ Mega Douche. Let him bang bitches in Ed Hardy Bikinis Wears Plaid Shorts Wears Name Brand Polos Wears Aviators Wears a Wifebeater..and just that for a shirt. Wears Overly Distressed Jeans Very Low Hanging Jeans Drives an: Impala, Cadillac, Eclipse, Big Truck/SUV, or Hummer Checks himself out in reflective surfaces Spends a lot of time in front of the mirror Owns a Hair Straightener Uses Fruit Scented Body Wash Has Massive Muscles Goes Tanning Wears Mandals His outfit is a Monochromatic color scheme Takes his Camcorder...everywhere. Has Bling Enjoys the "music" of Akon Has a beer shirt Wears Ed Hardy Clothing. Often. Loud Truck/motorcycle Brags about his beer pong skillz Wears Capris Facebook status says "hit up the cell" or "text it" Is only out between 4 and 4 "knows it" all about sound systems or cars Has a faux hawk/hair like the kid from the future in Meet the Robinsons Wears a Bandanna Drinks Icy Starbucks Wears his hat with a flat brim to the side Keeps the sticker on his hat Has one of those drawstring backpack things. Wears a Fedora Has a Pitbull/Boxer. And it isn't fixed. Runs downtown shirtless Spells with 'wit' and the 'tha' Has any clothing with silver or gold print on it Has highlighted/frosted hair Doesn't tie his shoes Chews obnoxisly on his gum Won't get off his phone Has Bluetooth headset on. all the time. Wears Affliction Wears Harley Davidson Gold Hoop Earring Biker Boots/No Bike Eyebrow Piercing Walks around shirtless, while not in his house. Nipple Piercings Please feel free to let me know if there is anything else that should be on this list! xo-K